Are you a parent entering or potentially already struggling with divorce?
If you have kids involved in this process then you will inevitably need to incorporate a visitation plan on top of everything else. This can create additional stress because the last thing you want is to have your kids suffer because of your relationship fallout.
I’m here to tell you that what might seem like a struggle now can turn into a living nightmare if not properly handled.
I thought I was prepared, I thought I was informed, but in reality my visitation plan had so many unpredictable holes. It sank fast.
I was dragged to court 10 times, ending in an all-day trial where my ex’s high-priced lawyer fought and the judge took over the plan.
Because of my failure to prepare effectively, I lost the right to make the scheduling decisions for my own children. I felt helpless. Imagine being unable to decide when you saw and didn’t see your children. How would I be able to make sure they were healthy and taken care of? I failed them.
I became so angry and powerless. Later, I found out my frustrations were all so unnecessary and avoidable!
To make matters worse I ended up paying roughly $42,000 out of my own pocket all because of a faulty parent visitation plan.
After it was all said and done, I felt called to make sure that other parents did not have to pay the same price that I did to learn these lessons. For the last 15 years I’ve been coaching divorcees on how to create effective parent visitation plans and avoid the hardships I endured.
In my experience and those of my clients, I found that there were a lot of commonalities with the setbacks people have in their plans, and I have detailed the top 5 mistakes people make with their parent visitation plans.
- A Plan That is Too Vague
Specifics are extremely important with any legal document, but especially so when that document pertains to the well-being of your children. Without proper terminology and detail, your visitation plan will not effectively convey the schedule that is best for your child. This can leave you and your child extremely vulnerable in court where the opposing lawyer will be fighting to poke holes in your plan.
- A Plan With Ineffective Exchanges
There are many exchanges that a child experiences during separation and divorce. A child transitioning from one parent to the other can become unbelievably grueling for you, and more importantly, your child. Proper exchanges can alleviate this emotional pain for your child.
- A Breakdown in Communication
Without an airtight communication system, you and your child are left exposed to potential hardships.
Communication Systems include – Telephone calls, Skype, Facetime, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.
This is one of the toughest processes because failing to correctly do this puts your kids in the middle of you and your ex. Not defining communication boundaries can throw you back into the perils of the courtroom very quickly.
- Unexpected Expenses
Including guidelines for expenses is very important financially. With co-parenting, many unexpected expenses arise, and it can be difficult to create fair terms after things have been settled in court.
As your kids get older, their expenses typically increase and they need additional funds. These costs can come from sports, instruments, lessons, and key coming-of-age events (like graduation and prom.) These expenses cause conflict between not just the parents, but between child and parent too.
- Morality Clause
Upon divorce, you lose your say in the people the other parent brings around the children, and what activities the parent chooses to participate in around the children. This is why your plan must include specific boundaries restricting certain actions around the children.
Don’t End Up A Victim to a Poor Visitation Plan
I understand this seems like such a simple process, but it isn't.
These are just the top 5 mistakes parent visitation plan mistakes. I could go on and on about all the dangerous pitfalls in this process. You don't want to navigate this alone... I've created tons of plans for men and women alike.
"As a pastor to children and families, I have recommended Judy to many parents. She has been an invaluable resource for our family and also to the foster/adoptive community of which we are affiliated. She has helped countless parents in a myriad of situations and we are so happy she is broadening her reach through consulting. Her experience is practical and uplifting for both parents and children." - Tricia
I don't want you to be alone in this challenging time, so I'm opening up my schedule to offer a FREE 30 minutes consultation. You don't want to make costly financial and emotional mistakes.